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I have been really finding my center lately. I mean, things are seeming clearer than they used to. I can feel what I want, and it's not what I've held on to for all these years. Oddly, I know I'm not depressed about it. It's a matter of looking at the world with a new set of eyes, rather than feeling morbid and down.
At any rate, this perspective has me getting up for work two hours before I'm expected there. As a result of THAT, I've been able to make breakfast and spend a little time checking e-mail and reading web pages, yet still have plenty of time to shower and get to work. Today, I was early (even if I didn't clock in until 2 minutes after, it was because I stopped to do something on my way in rather than backtracking after I'd clocked in). I went upstairs and began to figure out the web applications that my manager had told me that I was going to begin using. Nice applications, let me tell you.
I went through the day alright until it was time for my lunch. By the time I was to go to lunch, I was actually really nervous. Jennifer said that we'd do Monday's attempt at a lunch date on Tuesday, yet I'd not heard from her. I didn't even go until about 10 minutes after, and still, no call. I told the girl working in Guest Care that if anyone was looking for me, that I'd be at Fazoli's. (I wasn't going to sit around for my whole lunch, hoping to hear from her.) As I walked across the parking lot to Fazoli's, I scanned the parking lot back and forth. Surely she was going to show up at any moment, and we'd go somewhere for lunch.
Nope. I got my food at Fazoli's, set my iPod to Linkin Park, and read a Rurouni Kenshin manga while glancing out the window toward Kroger, wondering if she stopped or even called. Getting back from lunch, I found out that no one had called for me while I was on lunch.
This hurt. I know, it could be something simple like she really forgot. However, I am still disappointed by today's no-show, and I would rather not pin my hopes on an assumption. Honestly, that she cancelled, and then didn't show, looks bad to me. I'm not going to hold it agianst her, per se, but I have decided that I am not going to bring up today the next time we talk. If she's really interested, she'll know that what she did wasn't cool, and will bring it up herself. If she's not, then nothing will be said, and I'll quit showing interest in her.
We'll see what happens, now, won't we? For tonight, I'm going to download the 1.6 patch for World of Warcraft, and get my desk area organized the way I'd like it to be. I'll be crashing around 900pm, because I like getting enough sleep at night, and having plenty of time to get ready for work.
The "new me" is something that is not related to either girl I've had eyes for, and I'm not going to let it fall to the wayside because of a setback with one of my interpersonal relationships.
At any rate, this perspective has me getting up for work two hours before I'm expected there. As a result of THAT, I've been able to make breakfast and spend a little time checking e-mail and reading web pages, yet still have plenty of time to shower and get to work. Today, I was early (even if I didn't clock in until 2 minutes after, it was because I stopped to do something on my way in rather than backtracking after I'd clocked in). I went upstairs and began to figure out the web applications that my manager had told me that I was going to begin using. Nice applications, let me tell you.
I went through the day alright until it was time for my lunch. By the time I was to go to lunch, I was actually really nervous. Jennifer said that we'd do Monday's attempt at a lunch date on Tuesday, yet I'd not heard from her. I didn't even go until about 10 minutes after, and still, no call. I told the girl working in Guest Care that if anyone was looking for me, that I'd be at Fazoli's. (I wasn't going to sit around for my whole lunch, hoping to hear from her.) As I walked across the parking lot to Fazoli's, I scanned the parking lot back and forth. Surely she was going to show up at any moment, and we'd go somewhere for lunch.
Nope. I got my food at Fazoli's, set my iPod to Linkin Park, and read a Rurouni Kenshin manga while glancing out the window toward Kroger, wondering if she stopped or even called. Getting back from lunch, I found out that no one had called for me while I was on lunch.
This hurt. I know, it could be something simple like she really forgot. However, I am still disappointed by today's no-show, and I would rather not pin my hopes on an assumption. Honestly, that she cancelled, and then didn't show, looks bad to me. I'm not going to hold it agianst her, per se, but I have decided that I am not going to bring up today the next time we talk. If she's really interested, she'll know that what she did wasn't cool, and will bring it up herself. If she's not, then nothing will be said, and I'll quit showing interest in her.
We'll see what happens, now, won't we? For tonight, I'm going to download the 1.6 patch for World of Warcraft, and get my desk area organized the way I'd like it to be. I'll be crashing around 900pm, because I like getting enough sleep at night, and having plenty of time to get ready for work.
The "new me" is something that is not related to either girl I've had eyes for, and I'm not going to let it fall to the wayside because of a setback with one of my interpersonal relationships.
