I lost some time once...

Over the weekend, my computer died. It seems that what most likely happened is that the CPU heat sink got too much dirt caught up in it. I wasn't checking up on it like I should have been, so it caused the CPU fan to overheat and die. Then, without the fan to cool it somewhat, the dirt in the heatsink acted to finish off my CPU. Thankfully, though, Charles had been stashing "trash" around his workplace for while. I got upgraded to an AMD Athlon 64-bit dual core CPU, on a motherboard running PCI Express for video, and the ability to use all my old memory plus the 1GB stick that was already in there (for 2.5GBs of RAM). I also got a pair of hard drives striped together to make a 75GB 10k boot partition. The only downside was that my beautiful ATI Radeon X850 video card wouldn't work in it, because it is an AGP card. I'm using a 128MB card now, but WoW is definitely suffering for it.

As a result, I spent the greater part of the day since maintenance ended at 1pm watching TiVo'd shows. Two episodes of Fringe, two of Supernatural, two of That 70's Show (first season airing on FX now!), and the latest Chuck and How I Met Your Mother made for a full day of nothing. I enjoyed catching up on some shows, since I really like the way Fringe is playing out (Olivia is awesome, though I think John Noble's brilliant mad scientist steals the show). The only thing that I'm not happy about is that I was watching television only because I can't enjoy WoW right now, since the video card really drags it down, despite the computer getting upgraded (significantly) in every other way.

I was watching Chuck most recently, though, and Chuck's sister's concern about the direction Chuck seemed to be going resonated in me. Then, the beautiful Yvonne Strahovski's (Sarah Walker, CIA agent) on-screen romance with a computer nerd (Chuck) got my mind moving again. See, I want her. Well, not her specifically (though I wouldn't say no!). As I've been saying repeatedly of late, I want to move forward with my life, and get things back on track (where they seeminly haven't been for at least ten years, I'd say).

Recently, I said that November first was my target date for turning over my new leaf. Tonight reminded me of that, and helped reaffirm my resolve to see that goal through. As I mentioned last time, I want to start slow, so I don't overdo it and burn out too quickly. Changing habits isn't easy, and trying to change too much at once can really backfire. I am going to start with one goal, and add on to it once a week until I have five goals I'm aiming for (on 11/29). I'll keep at those until New Year, when I'll evaluate how I've done so far, and plan what's to come.

First things first. Beginning this weekend, I am going to dedicate myself to one of my goals for November. (Not counting NaNoWriMo, which I believe I'm going to silently participate in. I've always wanted to do something with the D&D campaign I did a few years back that I felt was particularly successful. Tweak some of the odder bits, clean up the storyline, and see where it leads. Obviously, it's based in the Forgotten Realms, so it'll never be published, but hey, I gotta try, right? Besides, I want to reaffirm to myself that I haven't lost my imagination, and that I just need to exercise it again.)

• To begin, I'm going to make it a point to get at least seven hours of sleep a night. Fudging twice a week is allowed, as long as no more than one of those days leads into an off day (that is, I am not skipping out on sleep when I need it... before work).


• On 11/8, I will begin taking my lunch to work (brown bagging a sandwich, fruit, and some vegetable I can eat raw). Once a week, I will eat something "out", either from my deli's steam table or McAllister's.


• On 11/15, I will begin exercising (riding my bike on days that it's light out and not too cold, or jogging around the common area a couple of times, coupled in both cases with some stretches, jumping jacks, situps, and push ups). I will do it five days a week (once on a day off, other times it'll be before work, or before bed).


• On 11/22, I will do my chores in a timely manner, doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done instead of skipping it. Again, I will allow myself, at least initially, two instances of "I'll do it later" per week. Sometimes, you really don't feel like it.


• Finally, on 11/28, I will start eating right in general (already technically begun with lunch, but this is when I'm going to reinforce it with better eating habits at home too). Notice, of course, that it's also AFTER Thanksgiving. :)

They feel like small things now that they're on paper, but I hope that they will add up to catalyze my mindset to strive to be better. After that, I can work on specifics, but that's next year.

Wish me luck, eh?

My long term goals seem rather ambitious to me, but that's from my POV of sitting on my duff, not having even started this beyond my mental desire to improve.

In five years, I want:

...to be renting/buying my own house.
...to be working in a job I enjoy and can take pride in.
...to have gone back to school, and gotten an Associate's degree in a field I want to have a career in.
...to be more fit, physcially, mentally, and emotionally.
...to be dating someone seriously.

Let's see how it goes, shall we?

I've been off for the last two days, and boy howdy, has it been pretty good.

You all know how my Sunday after work went, and I still am happy I did that. No regrets at all. :)

I woke up Monday morning, feeling pretty good, just a little achy, and that was gone before long. I cleaned up a little, but it was mainly picking up my room, though. I worked on my Warlock's Inscription, and farmed herbs for it with my Druid. During the day, Charles (and his girl) invited me to hang out with them at her place last night. So I hit 225 inscription (max level right now since she is 33), and left to go hang out.

Mapquest's directions kinda sucked, in that distances and directions were questionable (i.e., WRONG). Still, I found her place, which means that I'll never forget as long as I need to remember it. We went out for dinner, and since I really tied one on at the Flying Saucer on Sunday, I was chauffeur for Charles Monday. We went to Sekisui on Belvedere, and I suffered valiantly. (Honestly, I really am not a fan of seafood, ESPECIALLY when I'm hungry enough that my criteria for dinner was "cheap and lots of it".) I had the chicken teriyaki, and it wasn't bad. I got to show off my mad anime-inspired chopstick skills to eat rice! /flex

Afterward, we went back to her place, and hung out in the living room, listening to bellydancing music set to a techno beat while they smoked and drank wine, and I sipped a glass of wine. It was a white wine, with a nice aroma (is that what they call the "bouquet" ?), and a pleasant flavor, reminiscent of fruit like peaches, but it had a dry aftertaste, which wasn't altogether unpleasant. Finally, Charles went to bed, and we (his gf, her roommate, and a friend of hers that had stopped by) watched part of a comedy routine involving a Latin American who married some "hillbilly" from Kentucky. He was hilarious, though it was past 11pm when I left.

On the way home, I gave in to my hunger, and stopped by Kroger around the corner from my house to get some food. I picked up a box of some mini-tacos, sour cream, and shredded cheese. YUM! They hit the spot once I drizzled some Taco Bell sauce on 'em. (C'mon, you know you have a bunch of the packets stored in some random drawer in your kitchen....at least if you like Taco Bell, anyway. :) )

I crashed at 1am, feeling somewhat uneasy around my place for some reason. I figure it was in my head, but I did hear one cat meow and arch her back when she never meows, and that "damaged my calm", so that could have been responsible for the creepy sensation I had when I got into bed (I had to enact my "defensive barrier" -- i.e., my blanket over my head!). I fell asleep, and woke up around 7am, so I called Charles to make sure he got up for work, and then I settled into checking web sites and such, since Tuesday is WoW maintenance day.

I saw C briefly, but it was long enough to express my disappointment in something he did. Around 1030am, I left to head to the Dexter Kroger, because that was where I met my old friend Dee Dee for lunch. How old? Well, she's only a little older than I am, but we've known each other since the second grade. I played the priest at her wedding (they'd been to a justice of the peace.. I was just a stand in for the ceremony they did for the family later). We ran around with nearly 10 other people back in 1991-1992. It was great catching up with her, though now I like the idea of a reunion for as many of that group as we can safely manage. We were all great friends. My house was effectively the clubhouse, and they all called my dad "Mr. A."

I was struck by how grown up she seemed. I even commented on it to her, to which she replied, "I don't feel like a grown up yet." Haha.. I guess it sneaks up on us all.

It got me to thinking, and not in a self-destructive, negative way. First was the post I made several days ago where I said what I thought of myself. Now, I see that I have to change. Not for anyone but me, though. I don't quite know how to begin, but I could almost see a plan (5 year?) forming in front of me. What I wouldn't give for another moment of clarity like that. I *will* discover what it was. Something's nudging me that first, I gotta get to biking on a regular basis. So that'll be my first step. Next, I must establish a start date. Perhaps November 1? That's a Saturday, but it's a good clear starting point. (Should I actually grab my notes about the story I once wanted to write, and participate in NaNoWriMo? Even if it's just for me?

Anyway, after lunch, I came back and just wasted a couple of hours playing WoW. I got sleepier and sleepier, until I dozed off around 430pm, and slept in my chair until a little after 5pm. At that point, I decided that I was done with WoW for the night, made dinner, and fired up the last two weeks of "Chuck" and yesterday's "Heroes". I cannot get enough of those two shows (I missed "How I Met Your Mother", because my TiVo failed to record it for some reason. :( ).

Tomorrow, after work, I think I'm going to catch up on Supernatural (two episodes behind already, and Thursday will make three). Then, Charles has promised he's going to spend the evening in his own home, without his girlfriend around, so I suggested we play a board game or something instead of watching TV. Don't get me wrong. His girlfriend is pretty dang cool. She has printings of the Lord of the Rings from the early 70s (I should get a pic), and her personality puts you at ease. The two of them really get on well, and I'm happy to see that.

I don't know why, either, but lately I've been feeling more "big brotherly" towards Charles than in times past. Before, he'd listen to me, and give advice, and he was clearly the alpha. Now, though, I feel this shift in roles almost. Of course, I'm insane, so it's probably all in my head. :)

Now, to settle in for the night, and get more than six hours of sleep. Huzzah!