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Today, I attended Summerland Grove's July church meeting, which was the third anniversary of the first time I attended the pagan church. Sadly, I was tired enough that I didn't think about that detail while I was there, but it's noteworthy nonetheless.
The topic for today's discussion was "patron deities". We didn't discuss much, but there was enough discussion that I heard the idea repeated that a patron deity is like a parent figure.
...parent figure?
I was a little too self-conscious to ask the question in the group, but "is that it?" Can that be the only possibility? A great deal of why I feel so much more solidly on my path this time was that I accepted that Freyja was my patron, but I also know that I don't look at her as a parental figure.
For twenty years now, I've dreamed of a beautiful girl. Months, and sometimes years, would go by without an appearance by her, but when she appeared, I always knew it was her. The first time, I went to a lodge that felt like it was someplace very important. Another time, I stepped into a room similar to a newpaper editor's office, and the dream went on without me while I spent time talking to my dream girl. Sporadically, I have been in a love affair with a woman unlike any I've ever met waking.
Well, the hypothesis that my dream girl is Freyja rings true in my head, and I embrace the idea wholeheartedly. Yet, how can she be a parent figure *and* my dream girl?
This conflict is seriously bugging me, and scares me a little bit. Am I investing too much into Freyja, because she isn't for me as a patron, or have I drastically misunderstood the nature of our relationship? The idea that my dream girl is just a fantasy upsets me every time I consider it. If Freyja isn't my dream girl, then who is?
The topic for today's discussion was "patron deities". We didn't discuss much, but there was enough discussion that I heard the idea repeated that a patron deity is like a parent figure.
...parent figure?
I was a little too self-conscious to ask the question in the group, but "is that it?" Can that be the only possibility? A great deal of why I feel so much more solidly on my path this time was that I accepted that Freyja was my patron, but I also know that I don't look at her as a parental figure.
For twenty years now, I've dreamed of a beautiful girl. Months, and sometimes years, would go by without an appearance by her, but when she appeared, I always knew it was her. The first time, I went to a lodge that felt like it was someplace very important. Another time, I stepped into a room similar to a newpaper editor's office, and the dream went on without me while I spent time talking to my dream girl. Sporadically, I have been in a love affair with a woman unlike any I've ever met waking.
Well, the hypothesis that my dream girl is Freyja rings true in my head, and I embrace the idea wholeheartedly. Yet, how can she be a parent figure *and* my dream girl?
This conflict is seriously bugging me, and scares me a little bit. Am I investing too much into Freyja, because she isn't for me as a patron, or have I drastically misunderstood the nature of our relationship? The idea that my dream girl is just a fantasy upsets me every time I consider it. If Freyja isn't my dream girl, then who is?
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