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...my bad temper has continued through to today. I don't know what it is, but I could chew nails and spit out tacks. All it takes is a pin drop, and I'm feeling positively psycho. I want to hit things so bad it's actually scary. I punched my door frame today, since I figured that wouldn't break. I was right. One of my knuckles cut a little. I hit my head on the door frame. I screamed bloody murder for about ten minutes straight. I'm calm now. I think I just burned through my anger, so I'm too low to stay pissed. Nightwish wouldn't even put me in a good mood. Sarah Brightman made me angrier. I had to jam Battlelore's "Bucaneer's Inn" to calm down.
*sigh* I need a fucking vacation. I need to GO somewhere when I do. I need to leave Memphis behind for a little while. I need a chance to unwind completely.
Ironically enough, work was no more stressful than normal. In fact, it went pretty well. I quit chewing my gum while doing payroll, and wouldn't you know it? That was all it took to keep me from getting a headache. I guess it was the combination of the chewing motion and the stress of getting payroll done.
I came home today, and I had to do my laundry. I was going to do it yesterday, but wouldn't you know it decided to fucking rain? So, I had to wait. I thought I had it good today. The sun was out, and it was almost uncomfortably warm. I hung my clothes out, and things seemed okay. However, better than 3 hours later, they were still wet. Stupid humidity. Oh, they had dried some, but no where near dry. This inevitably set me off. I got angrier and angrier, until I bent a corner of my mom's clothesline. Great. Now, I've got to get one of those. *sigh*
I came inside, and did my best effort at putting a "me"-shaped indentation in my door frame. Everyone stayed away from me, for which I am profoundly grateful. I need to be alone when I'm pissed off. I got everything hung, and told my mom. She's going to get one with a guarantee, and we're going to split the difference. I really really really really hate my destructive outbursts.
Oh well, it'll improve, or I'll die. I've got to be at the bottom, right?
*sigh* I need a fucking vacation. I need to GO somewhere when I do. I need to leave Memphis behind for a little while. I need a chance to unwind completely.
Ironically enough, work was no more stressful than normal. In fact, it went pretty well. I quit chewing my gum while doing payroll, and wouldn't you know it? That was all it took to keep me from getting a headache. I guess it was the combination of the chewing motion and the stress of getting payroll done.
I came home today, and I had to do my laundry. I was going to do it yesterday, but wouldn't you know it decided to fucking rain? So, I had to wait. I thought I had it good today. The sun was out, and it was almost uncomfortably warm. I hung my clothes out, and things seemed okay. However, better than 3 hours later, they were still wet. Stupid humidity. Oh, they had dried some, but no where near dry. This inevitably set me off. I got angrier and angrier, until I bent a corner of my mom's clothesline. Great. Now, I've got to get one of those. *sigh*
I came inside, and did my best effort at putting a "me"-shaped indentation in my door frame. Everyone stayed away from me, for which I am profoundly grateful. I need to be alone when I'm pissed off. I got everything hung, and told my mom. She's going to get one with a guarantee, and we're going to split the difference. I really really really really hate my destructive outbursts.
Oh well, it'll improve, or I'll die. I've got to be at the bottom, right?
