First and foremost about this entry, is that it's entry 1900. That's not a lot when you look at the fact I've had this journal going on ten years, but it's still an average of 1.85 posts per day, accounting for leap days and such. Yeah, I was a bit of a post whore when I started this. :) Of course, back then, we didn't have anything like Twitter or Facebook (or even MySpace for that matter), and by the gods, we liked it! :)
On Wednesday, I started it off by tweeting a pic of the sunrise. I took Walnut Grove straight down to work*, and made it there only a minute late. I found out what cash was, and kept the front end going until we had more help.
Fortunately, there was no conference call, so I had nothing interrupt my attempt to get the schedule done for next week. I still wound up taking until 4pm, but that's with a lunch and a few sundry non-schedule related tasks that I had to complete. All in all, I'm quite pleased with the result. It's amazing what losing a full time cashier will do for you.**
As I got closer and closer to completing the schedule, I began to feel worse and worse. First, the HEAT was on upstairs, which didn't help matters. Second, I felt my mood getting worse and worse as time went on. When I thought about it, I knew that my mood was generally fine, but that something physical was beginning to affect me, and THAT was what bringing me down.
I bailed on going to
driver88junkie's, and instead laid down for a nap when I got home. I woke at 7pm, and was soaked in sweat. I felt a little better, but stayed home rather than risk aggravating my apparently fragile health. I sat up until around 9pm, when I laid back down. Interestingly, I picked up where I left off with reading my LJ, and I noticed several things.
I'm not going to sit here and say, "This time will be different." However, reading my LJ entries has convinced me of something that I never paid attention to before: I *do* write my blog for ME, first and foremost. It's helped me remember details about my old Riverdale store, that I had long since forgotten.
The first lesson was that when I moved over to Poplar & Highland, I was NOT READY TO BE A BACKUP. I *loathed* being second man over at Riverdale. I was more concerned in being there for my CSM, who I liked and wanted to help. There was even an incident back in 2005-6 where I had a meltdown, and talked to the manager. She commented that she could tell I was not interested in being a Customer Service Manager. Per my post back then, I agreed with her. For those of you not on social media with me, understand that I am now a Customer Service Manager at one of the busiest stores in the city, and not only do I like it, but I think I do a decent job (want to improve some, but I'm getting there).
That detail alone illustrates how much better my mindset is today versus just four and a half years ago. I'm honestly thunderstruck by how much I've changed emotionally, mentally, and spiritually since then.
...and I'm as pleased as can be. :)
Today, despite being sick, I'm doing laundry and cleaning my apartment. For some reason, I've always considered my home to be an extension of myself. If it's cluttered and messy, my health will be as well. That's not to say that I expect to get sick if I leave dishes in the sink, but if I'm sick, cleaning my home helps start me down the path of recovering from whatever bug attempted to waylay me. I don't plan on going anywhere, and will be napping at some point today for sure, but my home will be in great shape before the day is out. As friends like to say, it will be Tony Clean™. :)
Now, I must see about unloading the dishwasher. See y'all later!
* - I'm a dork, because I live just off Walnut Grove, and my store is on Union, which becomes Walnut Grove at Poplar. So, I tend to talk about work being "just down the road". :)
** - For those on my LJ who aren't also on Twitter/Facebook, I had a cashier tell me on Saturday that his schedule "ain't gonna work." He didn't even try to discuss it, so I replied, "It will, for one more week, at least." To which he replied, "We'll see about that." On Sunday, he walked out 2 hours into his shift, and hasn't been back. Thus, he's abandoned his job, and I don't have to worry with fitting him into the schedule anymore. :)
On Wednesday, I started it off by tweeting a pic of the sunrise. I took Walnut Grove straight down to work*, and made it there only a minute late. I found out what cash was, and kept the front end going until we had more help.
Fortunately, there was no conference call, so I had nothing interrupt my attempt to get the schedule done for next week. I still wound up taking until 4pm, but that's with a lunch and a few sundry non-schedule related tasks that I had to complete. All in all, I'm quite pleased with the result. It's amazing what losing a full time cashier will do for you.**
As I got closer and closer to completing the schedule, I began to feel worse and worse. First, the HEAT was on upstairs, which didn't help matters. Second, I felt my mood getting worse and worse as time went on. When I thought about it, I knew that my mood was generally fine, but that something physical was beginning to affect me, and THAT was what bringing me down.
I bailed on going to
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
- You can see when I began really focusing on WoW, because my posting all but vanished.
- I am a MUCH happier and more stable person now than I was when I first moved back out.
- I read a lot less than I used to (must remedy).
- I got where I would hop on LJ, post that I was alive and that I would post more, only to disappear for another month or two again.
- I would comment about WoW and either say: I was tired of it and that it was time to move on, that I was tempted to come back but that I would "not play as much as I did before." I cycled through this quite a bit.
- I would post that I came back to WoW, and invariably mention how much I'd been playing, despite my assertions (usually 1-2 posts earlier) that I would regulate my playtime.
- I would say that I need to begin writing.
I'm not going to sit here and say, "This time will be different." However, reading my LJ entries has convinced me of something that I never paid attention to before: I *do* write my blog for ME, first and foremost. It's helped me remember details about my old Riverdale store, that I had long since forgotten.
The first lesson was that when I moved over to Poplar & Highland, I was NOT READY TO BE A BACKUP. I *loathed* being second man over at Riverdale. I was more concerned in being there for my CSM, who I liked and wanted to help. There was even an incident back in 2005-6 where I had a meltdown, and talked to the manager. She commented that she could tell I was not interested in being a Customer Service Manager. Per my post back then, I agreed with her. For those of you not on social media with me, understand that I am now a Customer Service Manager at one of the busiest stores in the city, and not only do I like it, but I think I do a decent job (want to improve some, but I'm getting there).
That detail alone illustrates how much better my mindset is today versus just four and a half years ago. I'm honestly thunderstruck by how much I've changed emotionally, mentally, and spiritually since then.
...and I'm as pleased as can be. :)
Today, despite being sick, I'm doing laundry and cleaning my apartment. For some reason, I've always considered my home to be an extension of myself. If it's cluttered and messy, my health will be as well. That's not to say that I expect to get sick if I leave dishes in the sink, but if I'm sick, cleaning my home helps start me down the path of recovering from whatever bug attempted to waylay me. I don't plan on going anywhere, and will be napping at some point today for sure, but my home will be in great shape before the day is out. As friends like to say, it will be Tony Clean™. :)
Now, I must see about unloading the dishwasher. See y'all later!
* - I'm a dork, because I live just off Walnut Grove, and my store is on Union, which becomes Walnut Grove at Poplar. So, I tend to talk about work being "just down the road". :)
** - For those on my LJ who aren't also on Twitter/Facebook, I had a cashier tell me on Saturday that his schedule "ain't gonna work." He didn't even try to discuss it, so I replied, "It will, for one more week, at least." To which he replied, "We'll see about that." On Sunday, he walked out 2 hours into his shift, and hasn't been back. Thus, he's abandoned his job, and I don't have to worry with fitting him into the schedule anymore. :)