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Well, J is back in Tennessee, and M is sad he's back. They love each other very much, and had a great time together.
This depresses me, on some level, since I didn't get this kind of response when *I* returned from NJ. Instead, I got a cold shoulder. Oh, she talked to me, but she most certainly didn't seem terribly interested in doing so. I am happy for them both, and wish them lots of happiness, but this throws into sharp relief how I feel for her. Despite hurting her feelings by choosing not to go up there in February, I realize now that I did the right thing. If, after almost two weeks of doing things without her, and talking very little to her, I can stumble and feel this miserable so easily, I would have been the worst mess possible when I visited her in February.
I still have feelings for her. I probably always will, yet, until I can truly come to terms with the reality of the situation (both mine and hers with J), I doubt I'll be able to talk to her, at least "in real life". Chances are that it'll be a while before I feel completely comfortable talking to her. I felt so good and happy while I was there, and I crashed down really fast, and really hard. It's rough, to put it mildly. Time heals wounds, but tends to leave scars. I'm working on that, thoguh.
We had the second session of our game today. It went pretty well, especially since I did a lot of "pulling things out of my ass", so to speak. I was "running" The Sunless Citadel, set in the depths of Sharn. (The quotes are because I've altered the story slightly. Meepo's a sorcerer now, and has a racist tendency toward elves in general, but loves picking at Leafeon in particular. They are not having an easy time getting through the place, but all seem to be enjoying it nicely, and THAT is what counts.
I am being optimistic, but I think this campaign has the "feel" to be able to go all the way. I can only hope that I'm right about this. *knocks on wood*
I'm on Day Six in A Purpose Driven Life, and I love what I've read so far. I have![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
prissi to thank for introducing me to the book. Current relationship woes aside, this is JUST what I needed to read. Now, I'm going to bed, because I have work tomorrow from 6a-3p.
This depresses me, on some level, since I didn't get this kind of response when *I* returned from NJ. Instead, I got a cold shoulder. Oh, she talked to me, but she most certainly didn't seem terribly interested in doing so. I am happy for them both, and wish them lots of happiness, but this throws into sharp relief how I feel for her. Despite hurting her feelings by choosing not to go up there in February, I realize now that I did the right thing. If, after almost two weeks of doing things without her, and talking very little to her, I can stumble and feel this miserable so easily, I would have been the worst mess possible when I visited her in February.
I still have feelings for her. I probably always will, yet, until I can truly come to terms with the reality of the situation (both mine and hers with J), I doubt I'll be able to talk to her, at least "in real life". Chances are that it'll be a while before I feel completely comfortable talking to her. I felt so good and happy while I was there, and I crashed down really fast, and really hard. It's rough, to put it mildly. Time heals wounds, but tends to leave scars. I'm working on that, thoguh.
We had the second session of our game today. It went pretty well, especially since I did a lot of "pulling things out of my ass", so to speak. I was "running" The Sunless Citadel, set in the depths of Sharn. (The quotes are because I've altered the story slightly. Meepo's a sorcerer now, and has a racist tendency toward elves in general, but loves picking at Leafeon in particular. They are not having an easy time getting through the place, but all seem to be enjoying it nicely, and THAT is what counts.
I am being optimistic, but I think this campaign has the "feel" to be able to go all the way. I can only hope that I'm right about this. *knocks on wood*
I'm on Day Six in A Purpose Driven Life, and I love what I've read so far. I have
prissi to thank for introducing me to the book. Current relationship woes aside, this is JUST what I needed to read. Now, I'm going to bed, because I have work tomorrow from 6a-3p.
