More..

The viewing is tonight, after which a couple of us are going to hang out with Kevin, and keep him company. (I wonder who will be comforting whom more, though. This has hit us all pretty badly.) Then, tomorrow at 200pm, is the funeral.

I think that I'm just glad that I'm working today. It'll let me get my mind off of it for a while.

A life...

Well, after I got off work today, I met Charles at his house. Our destination from there was JCPenney in Wolfchase, so that we could pick up some proper duds for tomorrow. (I would probably have some proper clothes for a regular funeral, but since I'm a pallbearer...) We got slacks, shirts, and ties. I'm kind of excited about wearing the stuff, even given the WHY that I am doing so.

After that, all three of us (including Charles' wife) went to the viewing. When I first got there, I wasn't sure I had the right place, since I didn't recognize anyone standing outside. Fortunately, as I walked in, I saw John, who is Kevin's brother-in-law, and Brandi, who's Kevin's wife. I talked to her briefly, and then went to see Pop. I saw Mamma Dunn, and I saw Pop in his casket. A flag was  draped over the bottom half of the coffin, because of his service during the Korean War. (I was especially happy about that.)

I teared up almost immediately. When I hugged Mamma Dunn, I cried a little bit. When Cindy (Kevin's oldest sister, and the one who calls me her adopted little brother) came over, I think we both broke down a little as we hugged. Then, Kevin got back from dropping off a cousin who was to pick up an aunt from the airport. We all (Kevin, Brandi, Charles, Melissa, and I) went outside so that we could talk while Kevin had a cigarette. We talked about Pop, and our memories of him. Kevin made the "dang, the pollen's heavy this time of year" joke when his eyes started tearing up.

We went back inside, and talked a while longer. Then, it came time for everyone to leave. Mamma Dunn went over to say goodbye to Pop. At that point, I broke down completely, tears running down my cheeks, chin quivering. It was so damn heartwrenching to watch, but I know he's gonna keep an eye out for her. *sniff*

We all went back to her house, where we had some of the vast arsenal of food that she has gotten from people. The thing that was downright weird, though, was the TV. When Pop was alive, he'd watch TV from his easy chair. Well, even though the living room, dining room, and kitchen are all more or less open with one another, you can never see that chair. The TV was on when we got there, and -- since I could see the chair -- I felt like I could almost walk around the corner, and still find him sitting there. The other thing I thought was interesting was that, once everyone sat down to eat, no one -- and I mean NOT A SINGLE SOUL -- even looked at Pop's recliner as a place to sit. Everyone either stood, or found somewhere else.

Finally, I had to come home, where I did something I don't do as often as I should: I let my folks know how I feel about them. As a general rule, none of us around here are terribly open with our feelings, so a lot of things go unsaid. I decided to not let them remain unsaid any longer. (Can you believe, though, that my mom actually asked what brought that on? LOL!)

Now, I'm going to bed. I'm only working until noon tomorrow, and then I'm coming home to clean up and get ready for the funeral. We have a full complement of people to carry the casket, and I'm downright honored to be allowed the privilege of carrying it. *sniff* Everyone in the immediate family said that Pop would have wanted it that way.

I'm feeling a little less cynical now about love in general. Mom and Pop Dunn restored my faith somewhat years ago, but being accepted so readily into the family during this crisis brings tears of joy that mix with the tears of sorrow.

I will(have) pass(ed) on your condolences to Kevin and family (already). Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts, prayers, and words. Ain't it funny? Seeing him tonight hurt, but I think that it really is a step in the direction of healing.