tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Default)

Yesterday, I woke in a funky mood. When I went to bed Saturday night, I'd dosed myself with a round of self-pity and no-one-likes-me, with a little I'm-not-good-enough for good measure, and it carried through till I woke. Frankly, I shouldn't be surprised. That was a classic Anthony pity-party.

I woke to a text from my girl, telling telling me good morning (something we do almost every day). However, I'd sent her an email the night before, telling her about some problems I was having trouble working through, so after the good mornings were exchanged, it got serious. We texted for about 30 minutes, at which time it was decided that I should get up, dress for work, and head over, so we could talk face-to-face. I'm glad I did.

In hindsight, talking about what was bugging me is just what I needed, and she did beautifully in listening to me, being patient with me, and giving me the love and support I needed. She really is something special. :)

After that, I went to work, where I learned we have two new U-Scan robots. I'd remembered [livejournal.com profile] marius_98 saying something briefly about it last week, before I shut down all talk of Kroger because I was on vacation. It actually worked out rather well, because we now were allowed another attendant down there. Also, the layout of the new U-Scan is a lot more friendly to the attendant standing in the middle to assist customers.

At any rate, I started my shift down there, and spent most of the first part of the day in a register. This worked out, because I needed the mindless work to get back in the swing of things. Ironically, I felt more... "with it" as far as making decisions and being okay with being the go-to second person on the front (since I last posted in January, the management and the CSM have changed, and I'm now the backup CSM). I must investigate this further...

I went to lunch at the cottage with [livejournal.com profile] marius_98 and [livejournal.com profile] una_con_laluna, enjoying the last little bit of Gremlins while I had my double quarter pounder with cheese. Being in that atmosphere, I was very relaxed and felt very safe and loved, and it helped center me and let me refocus for the second half of my shift.

The second half went smoothly. Even though it was the end of the month, as you'd expect on Hallowe'en, the only traffic we had was from folks buying candy. One guy even said he ne'er ate sugar, so the last kid of the night was going to get the rest of what he had in the bowl. OMG, I would've thought I'd hit the motherlode if that happened to me. #fatkid, indeed. :)

Coming home, I cleaned out the Jeep (which I'd been driving while my car was out of commission), because I figured Charles would be driving it this morning. I cleaned the kitchen, made dinner, and tooled around on WoW for a little bit. When they say things have changed, they're not kidding. I spent the whole time figuring out what I was looking at. It was kinda fun, exciting, AND frustrating all at once. :)

I crashed out around 2-230, and slept till I woke up at 630 this morning, when I decided that I should stay up so that I can get my car fixed. I will sleep a lot better knowing my car is driveable again.

So that's my Hallowe'en, or Samhain to some of my friends. Heh, or "Sunday" to still others. :) I'm gonna finish my coffee (Ugly Mug's Good Vibes, with some Carnation French Vanilla creamer and sugar), and see about conquering my car. See everyone later!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Me - South Park Me)
I am posting again, because I told [livejournal.com profile] tannenwynn I would, though I don't have the heart for much.

The biggest news is that my vacation is over. I work Sunday from 2p-11p. I would have liked to have had at least tomorrow off, but hey, them's the breaks.

Secondly, while the part for my car to get it running right again should be an easy fix, Charles and I spent two hours outside trying to pull it out. I cut my hands up, got ridiculously filthy, and didn't even get the part out, so my car is still undriveable. This has seriously impacted my good mood. Enough so that I voiced a concern with someone in E-mail, when I might normally have said nothing. I can only hope that things turn out like they're supposed to.

In other news, though, I reactivated my WoW account. I don't really want to run endgame, and I don't want to spend all my time playing, but the story changes coming up in the expansion, Cataclysm, are too intriguing for me to ignore. Because of all the changes that have been applies in patch 4.0.1, it already feels like a new game, which is interesting in itself.

Now, I'm going to sleep. Perhaps tomorrow will bring me some peace, at least until I have to go in to work.
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Music - Transcendence)
With the advent of Facebook, I've found fewer and fewer reasons to come back to LJ. It's not that I dislike LiveJournal, but a 500 character quickie update several times a day is easier to get done than a single post, which for me is usually long enough that folks skip past it anyway. That said, I love typing journal entries, so I have no real excuse for not updating at least a little more often. I have to make the time. (Side note: This is another chance for those on my friends list to add me to their Facebook, if they'd like: Anthony Adkins, in Memphis, TN.)

Sadly, the purpose of this post is not going to be very long, because it's a dream I had last night that is already fading. Even though I've not seen the movie, what I experienced in my dreams last night could best be described as "2012 comes to the World of Warcraft comes to real life". Basically, I was me and those I knew -- for the most part -- were those I knew. Oh, you had mages and a few things like that running around, and I seem to remember that even I could cast spells, but it was real life. I watched dozens and dozens of cars drive down an empty highway, all headed away from the city they'd been in. However, I saw wraith-like apparitions floating around a very Blood Elf-like collection of buildings.

I remember that the group (2.. 3 others?) I was with were looking for supplies. I think I wasn't level cap either, because I wanted to find the trainer's old books for the stuff I didn't know yet. I did sneak to the third floor of one of the blood elf buildings, looking for old quest rewards stockpiled in a small room. The quest rewards were... not quite food, but weren't weapons or armor either. I guess it was just Vital Stuff™. :) At one point, I almost got into a fight, because a monster's nameplate showed up in my field of view (for those WoW players reading, I tend to play with enemy nameplates enabled -- hit "V" on your keyboard by default. Yeah, that red bar with the name just above it when you're less than 30 or so yards away). I tried to fight it, but like in WoW, when the monster is behind a wall or such, you can't actually hit it.

Right before I woke up, I had snuck to a weapon shop to find something I could fight with, and I didn't like how their katanas, wakizashis, or tantos were made, and was learning about a musical instrument I'd picked up (which doesn't match a REAL musical instrument at all).

Anyway, it was a very surreal dream, because of exactly what it was, and I had to share a little bit that happened. What a way to start my week of vacation! :)
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (D&D - DL - Tasselhoff)
Work last night was not bad, though no count got done until the end of my shift. It seems the opener forgot to declare the office, and just ran the Sales & Cash reports. We did it when I got in, but things were boofed by then. The night went pretty smoothly, though, so my stress level was reasonably low.

I managed to get everything done by just before 2, though I stayed to cover the night checker's 30 minute break. When I got off, I picked up some produce, canned veggies, and tuna. I thought about trying to improve my eating habits last night, so I jumped on the idea while it was still fresh in my mind.

I came home, and took care of some bills, finally going to bed a little after 5am.

As long as today can go smoothly, I'll be delighted.

The more I think and talk about 4e, the more I find myself liking what I've seen. As a direct result of this, perhaps, I haven't really been logging into either of the MMOs I've been playing. I even officially let WoW lapse last night. I think that I want to pick up some of the new source material, especially the Player's Handbook 2. Swordmage from the Forgotten Realms setting sounds like a bucketful of awesome, too. Sure, it utilizes the "threat" mechanic that I was so disdainful of, but the class is a melee proficient caster, who protects his allies by forcing his enemies to avoid engaging him or take damage, yet when they run, he ports to them, and repeat the process. It's a unique concept, and one that seems to appropriately mesh melee combat with casting into a cohesive whole.

Anyway, I'm going to do some reading in the DMG. I have time to tweak my adventure some, so I think I will.
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (D&D - DL - Tanis)
I just never use my LJ anymore. I'm far more likely to update my Facebook profile for a quick bit of info. The sad thing is that I like updating my journal, at least theoretically. Going back and reading old entries provides a real snapshot into what my life has been like since I joined the LJ community back in 2002.

Still, I've not really been posting. Of course, aside from some minor gripes with work, playing WoW, and just living day-to-day, things aren't really changing for me. I told myself I needed to eat better and begin exercising, because I am not getting any younger. That fell flat. I start that up at least 1-2 times a week, and invariably fail on the days that I work late or (less often) when I'm off. It's a matter of convenience for me. Do I get the veggies out of the fridge, prep them and make something to eat, or do I grab the bread, the cheese, and the hot dogs to make something that will fill me quickly? I suppose before I try to seriously make this happen, I should plan out what I'm going to eat, and make a point to go shopping for what's on my menu. Then, as much as it pains me, I'll need to get up and walk away from my computer. I've noticed a correlation between sitting at my computer and snacking all day long.

In other news, I'm finally tiring of WoW. The guild that I was in was not even trying to progress in endgame content. While we're not a raiding guild, hearing the guild leader say, "it's in the works (or that effect)," and yet never really do anything really sucks. We couldn't even get folks to go read the strats for the two things we DID attempt (Vault of Archavon and Obsidian Sanctum). Couple this with a decided lack of faith by my guild's leader regarding a real life friend and, well, that's that. I rejoined my old guild, Relief Beef, but I can't say that I'm going to pay to renew my subscription on Friday when it lapses.

I got back into LotRO again. What I like about it is that it's like WoW, but isn't so addictive that you can't stop and walk away. I'm on Meneldor with a group of people that the leader knows in real life. Unfortunately, I had lost the account info I used last April when I played, so I got to start all over. :-p I'm having fun with my Rune-Keeper, though.

Finally, I did my first 4e game in nearly 9 months last night. I *do* enjoy that system, for all that it's "not as good" as 3e or 2e. The guys I was playing with asked if we could continue the game on a semi-regular basis, for which I'm interested as well. The only catch? This time, we're gonna rotate the DM activities with the same group of characters, and I, at least, am going to do no overarching plot. Let's just get together, socialize, and kill stuff. :)

Anyway, I work late tonight and tomorrow night, but I'm off on Saturday. Short off day, true, but it's Saturday, and the roommates should be around, so hopefully we can get some stuff done around the homestead. (Though I gotta get a mask before I work outside again.. either the pollen count is worse this year, or my allergies are getting worse as I age.. Last weekend, I couldn't breathe at all.)

Follow me on Facebook, btw. Find my real name, and tell me who you are when you add me.

I know [livejournal.com profile] dragonpurr uses Twitter. Anyone else?
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (D&D - DL - Sturm)
While I *should* only be working another half day today, today is still the day that I have to put work clothes on again, and go to work. It's been a rather enjoyable few days. While I played WoW a lot, I made it a point to get up and do a few things around the house and shower first. I also tracked what I ate, and attempted to eat better on most days. Granted, the exercise bit didn't REALLY happen but, uh, baby steps. :)

See folks in a while. (Should be 10am, but I am mentally prepping myself for being stuck there till 3pm. Mainly in a "that way I'm happy when I see what I really work" way. :)
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Music - Symphony X)
Whether I like it or not, today was my birthday. Honestly, I don't completely understand my ambivalence to the time of year framed by Thanksgiving and my birthday. I suppose that the ambivalence I feel today could be traced to feelings of loneliness on my birthday. I pretend that I don't mind, but I guess I want to be surprised with a party or a get-together or a dinner or something. Of course, I don't feel I deserve those kinds of things, simply because I don't pay the attention I should to others' birthdays. That doesn't stop me from having that Xmas-morning-like hope that THIS time, something will happen to surprise me.

Anyway, I woke up around 930 after a few hours sleep, and made a bigger-than-I-should-have-eaten breakfast with bacon, eggs, and biscuits. It was enjoyable, to say the least. I received a free reading from Tarot.com, so I checked out my Celtic Cross reading. (Interesting stuff, for sure.) I played some WoW, goofing around on the Public Test Realm, seeing how I liked the changes. (I like them so far.)

I was having lunch with [livejournal.com profile] ladysykashnia around 3pm, so I cleaned up. While doing so, I made a decision: the goatee is gone. It was never very thick anyway, but I'm tired of worrying about it. I also feel kinda silly holding onto it for over six years. It didn't look bad on me, but when was the last time you saw someone in power with a goatee?

We ate at Cracker Barrel. She got me an iTunes gift card and a funny birthday card (T & A = Tylenol & Advil -- ROFL!). I tried to eat something "light", but a burger doesn't even remotely count as such. We caught up on things, and I was sad to see the hour come to an end. I came home, and began looking around on iTunes for what I'd spend my card on. (Of all things, my shopping cart was EMPTY!?)
What'd I get? Well...
DragonForce's 2008 release "Ultra Beatdown",
a string quartet version of DragonForce's "Through Fire and Flames",
Winger's "Hungry",
and "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65.

While browsing, I ran across Lita Ford's two popular tracks from her album, "Lita". I went to YouTube and watched the videos. I fondly remember being uncomfortable watching "Kiss Me Deadly" around my parents, but then again, the video can still turn me on now. *evil grin* Lita's hot. That's just fact. Ahem..

Anyway, I finally had that much-needed conversation with [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181 about his tendency to fall into "yes dear" mode, when all I want is an exchange of ideas. I think we've got that worked out. *crosses fingers* Afterward, my mother called me to wish me happy birthday, too.

Then, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for my dinner. It was fun at first, but as the evening wore on, and I ate, I began to feel a keen dissatisfaction with what I was doing. I mean, [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181 and [livejournal.com profile] strieson are my buds, but I had this unexplained feeling that I should have had a girl nearby, and our waiter wasn't even female. Then I thought about how my eating habits sucked, and had finally brought my health and looks down to a similarly low level, and I was ready to go, but waited on everyone to finish first.

Coming home, I hid in my room, playing more WoW, until they went to bed. I finally decided to surface to sign up for a Photobucket account, so that I could host images online for forums or what have you, as well as give a quick run down of my day.

It was not bad, but I felt like it should have been so much more..
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Whelan) - Hourglass)
I'm not entirely sure where to begin. I suppose that this morning is a good place, huh? :)

When I woke up, I fully did NOT want to bother with work today. It wasn't that I didn't get squat for sleep. Instead, I'd done most of my ring errors for payroll yesterday, so I knew I didn't have much to do when I went in. I wasn't going to let myself be late over that, though, so I dressed and got to work close enough on time to be okay (I was one minute late, but the morning checker was like 3-4, the self-checkout girl was 15, and the CSM -- who was doing the end of week paperwork, was 16).

Payroll was as I thought it would be if I was allowed time to work on it during the week leading up to Sunday. Yesterday, I was brought upstairs to get all errors fixed, so that the Co-manager would know how things were going before his off day today. As a result, I flew through payroll, which turned out to be rather beneficial, since we had four -- count 'em, four -- call-ins today. I don't know what was in the water, but that was ridiculous. I took my lunch early, and helped keep things going smoothly until I left at 3p.

One thing happened while I was there, though. I had to call another store to report a new tranfer's hours, since he'd not been moved into my store's Time & Attendance database. To make the call, I had to find their information on our intranet, which lists who department heads/managers are in each store, along with contact info for the store. I was suddenly struck by how many people had worked for Kroger for less than 10 years, yet were Drug/GM managers and Front End managers and Produce managers and so on. I have over 14 years with the company, and in that time, I've allowed myself to be content with working in accounting as a regular clerk. Sure, at Riverdale I was "backup", but that was in name only, and I never took advantage of it.

Back in 1998, a co-manager said of me, "he's ready to be the backup of any head checker in the city." I was 22 at the time. I had my life ahead of me, and that would have been a nice step up. Instead, I deprioritized my job/career, and coasted through it. Apparently, as long as I collected a check, I was okay, even if I griped about how poorly I felt I was paid. I realized today that, every evaluation, I wanted it to say "is ready to move up into another position", even though I didn't want to go anywhere, because that would have taken me out of my comfort zone. That is insane.

As a result, I'm working at a store where I've been shoved back down a rung on the corporate ladder, because they don't know me like my old store did. Because of how I handled things when I first arrived, I'm not likely to see that change. My only hope is to get out of that store or find another job. Honestly, the second option is probably more likely, as that stigma from my current store could follow me. Besides, who would want a 33 year old accounting clerk who can't even be a backup, despite knowing most of the job?

What in the world was I thinking for all those years?
Also, I realized that I want to keep an inventory of what passes my lips during a typical week, so that I can see exactly how badly I eat. I tried to keep up mentally at first, but I realize I'm going to have to keep a log handy (in my wallet), so I can jot down details of what I eat during the day. I will begin tomorrow, now, for sure.

I came home, and decided I'd play some WoW. It was raining, and I didn't want to attempt to start walking or otherwise on a day like today. I hopped on my holy paladin, and flew around Northrend, collecting ore for my blacksmithing. I traded some titanium for more saronite, and got my blacksmithing skill to 448. Tapping into my bank reserves, I bought a few more raw materials off of the auction house, and made my Titansteel Guardian. I've lost a bit of crit, though, so I may wind up using gems to make up the difference until I can begin picking up heroic and naxx pieces.

Having done that, I logged out, made a quickie dinner of a chicken pattie and cheese on bread. :) Now, I'm going to attempt to get some shuteye and relax. My birthday is on Wednesday, and while I *am* off, I work the rest of the week.
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Default)
Good riddance.

I won't say that the whole year was horrible, but it didn't start too well, and hasn't improved in general.

In January, the store at which I'd worked for the last eleven years closed. I got transferred to the highest-volume store in the region, instead of a slightly slower, definitely closer location where THEY WERE ASKING FOR ME. To make matters worse, the new store apparently assumed that I'd be able to transition from a $190K/week store to one that can hit $1M/week in sales with no adjustment period. When I cried foul, I was no longer considered a backup CSM. My health became a greater problem, and I had to go to the doctor about a bulge in a place where it shouldn't be. I was scheduled for hernia surgery in March. [livejournal.com profile] strieson and I also moved in with [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181.

February was just a holding pattern of the previous month, though I did get to see Celtic Woman live at the FedExForum. Come to think of it, that was easily one of the highlights of my year. Getting to see them live still can make me smile (though I really, really, REALLY want to go see them at the Orpheum when they come back in April). We had to deal with drama from [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181's personal life and why he got roommates in the first place, and that made things "fun". (No, not really.)

In March, I finally cracked at work and officially cried foul. After I was told they were going to let up and would I please stay at that store, things seemed like they were going to settle down. I never found out, though, because I had my surgery on March 31. During this month, I met [livejournal.com profile] ladysykashnia, one of the women that [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181 would go on to date this year. She liked RPGs, fantasy, and BSG/Lost. Good times. :)

I spent most of April either in a chair relaxing or at my computer, playing World of Warcraft. My job claimed that they didn't have any light-duty work for me, so I spent pretty much the whole month at home (though they had no trouble letting me come in to do payroll). I all but lived in front of the computer, and made real progress on my characters online, while I was withdrawing farther from my roommates. I did order several CDs from Amazon.com based on 30 second preview alone, and wound up liking almost all of them completely (even the lesser-liked ones got heavy rotation for a few months).

I went back to work in May, only to have my old anxieties come back in full force (my first day back was the first Thursday of the month, which was nearly the first of the month, and I had considerable trouble getting things done). To cope, I continued to play WoW, only to have my two roommates accuse me of becoming addicted to the game because I'd grown hostile towards them. (I won't rule it out, but I think it's symptomatic of something else, rather than being the root of the problem.) [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181 even went so far as to push me hard enough to go to anger management -- despite my protestations that I had a plan that was working -- that I left the house for the evening. At this point, I was seriously wondering if I was going to have to move. Suggest something all you want, and even push me if I'm doing nothing about it, but if I say, "that's cool, but I have a plan, and I think it's working," back off for a while, you know?

June was relatively unremarkable, aside from tensions arising around the house from what came to be known as chore duty, but July saw it come to a head. A formal plan was created, where the basic things around the house were broken into chores that were either every two days, every 5 days, or every 9 days (the idea being that with three of us, it'd work out evenly). The kinks were worked out, and the plan was more or less formally implemented in August.

By September, I realized that I was not making money like I thought I was, and that I was having serious trouble paying my medical bills (I *love* how you get one, and think you're done, and then three more send theirs, leaving you scratching your head.) I scrambled to compensate, and got small payments sent off, only to realize that I couldn't keep it up like that (folks can only live on ramen for so long, and gas is one of those things you kinda have to get). I cancelled my hold box at my local comic store (where I was getting the Negima manga and the Pathfinder RPG periodical), and began to look for ways to save myself from what seemed an inevitable financial collapse.

I got something of a handle on it in October, though not nearly as well as I'd liked, and started to seriously consider the possibility of bankruptcy, though I feel responsible for paying back all of the debt I've accumulated. [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181 called it "predatory lending", but I still feel guilty about it.
That brings up an interesting aside. I feel guilty about seemingly everything, from cutting corners doing a job to checking a woman out. I try telling myself that my thoughts and behavior aren't that bad, but I can't convince myself completely. Over this year, especially, this feeling has compounded with other feelings to make me truly miserable by now.
By November, I had gotten up to date on all of my bills (minus the medical ones... I still don't know where I'm going to get the money for that. Maybe if they can hang on until I get my tax refund..), and was feeling slightly better, but old feelings resurfaced at work. I was getting scheduled a lot of 5pm-2am shifts, and those shifts RUIN my attitude for doing anything. Let alone the fact that it was usually 5p-2a, then off, then 6a-3p, for a net day off of around 28 hours. I was getting in too late to get up early, but had to go to bed early to make the next day. The end result was that I would get no sleep that day, and would hope I could recover after the 6a-3p.

Thanksgiving was the worst. I worked the same shift setup, and [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181 had gone out of town to see his folks, so it was [livejournal.com profile] strieson and me eating microwave turkey, instant mashed potatoes, and canned carrots. I don't blame [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181, but it was a real downer all the same. On that Friday and Saturday following, work was slammed, and money came up missing. On Sunday, I saw a "lovely" note "encouraging" us to explain where the money went, and to explain to managemnet why we wanted to remain accounting clerks. I caused a HUGE stink by offering to turn my keys in (well, isn't that what my CSM asked?), because I was tired of the constant "there are people who will do your job, so shape up" letters from the CSM. I'd reached the point where I decided that if these people existed, she could use them instead. This did cause me to mind my Ps and Qs with a newfound attention, since I didn't want them pinning anything like lost money on me (we all know I would never take money, but I can't be so sure about them).
Also, the latest WoW expansion, Wrath of the Lich King, hit stores, and I resumed playing a lot. This time, though, [livejournal.com profile] strieson was playing with me, and [livejournal.com profile] capedory1181 had taken to going out of town just about every weekend, hunting, so I was left to my devices. This really helped me keep it together, though it carried over into my holiday season funk, which isn't really over yet.

Now, here we are in December, and I'm absolutely miserable. I'm about to turn 33, and I live with roommates, can't afford my own place, my car needs work done, and I'm so paranoid and insecure that, should I get the courage to even ask, I feel like no woman would want to hang around me for long anyway. I've tried to relax about it, but I invariably come back to my lack of progress. Why am I still at Kroger? Why did I quit school? Am I well and truly screwed, or do I still have a chance? Some days, it really threatens to overwhelm me, and has come close on several occasions.

I wish I knew why this season tanks my mood like it does, but it does. It's been like this for years, though this year is decidedly worse. I might even know, deep down, but am not ready to admit it to myself. I feel at times like I'm all alone, and when I think of my friends, I find that I'm uncomfortable opening up to them about my feelings. It's at that point I realize I've really got my emotions locked down in a big way. I just have to make it through my birthday next Wednesday (Jan 7), and I *should* start to see things pick up again. God knows, I could use something positive in my life.

So yeah.. 2008 can bite my ass. Here's hoping 2009 is at least a step or two up, even if it's not another 2000 or 1987 (both years where I was generally happy and had no problems).

Told ya I'd do a lengthy post, didn't I? :)
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Unk.) - Columns)
Time for work (5p-2a at Kroger). I'm missing Trans-Siberian Orchestra again this year. Damn it.

No WoW today, or tomorrow either, really. It's a dismal thing to say, but I can't wait for Christmas to be over (ironic, isn't it, since I love TSO?).

In other news, BSG season 4.0 will come out the day before my birthday. Hoorah. I should have time to catch up before the final season hits.
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Anime - Chibi Kenshin)

I'm off today, and here I am, awake at 430am, like a normal work day. I suspect that it's because I made a point to go to bed normally last night (though I think I was a LITTLE behind). I got to bed between 11 and 1130, but because I slept nearly 8 hours night before last, I feel great right now, and rested. Nifty.

I remember dreaming last night, but I cannot remember what it was now. I vaguely remember my dream girl, but that could just be my mind, since she was definitely in my dreams on Saturday night. (I just remember that she was sitting in my lap, kissing me briefly on the lips, saying why we should be an item between kisses...and then my alarm went off.) Oh well, last night can't be terribly important, dream-wise, if I can't remember it. At least, that's what I'm going to tell myself, because thinking that my dream girl was around again does nothing but depress me.

(For those who don't know, my dream girl doesn't look specifically like anyone. Instead, what I notice is the way she makes me feel when she's around. She's been blonde and a raven-haired brunette, and perhaps even a redhead. Yet, I could never completely describe her face once I wake up. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I ever found her in real life. Oh yeah, I do. I'd marry the woman, or die trying.)

So, as I said at the top of the post, I'm off today. I'm SOMEWHAT unsure what I am going to do today, though I know I need to do laundry. I've given some thought to playing some WoW while it's still early, and then hitting some of my chores today. At some point, though, I'm gonna sit down and work more on my unofficial (as in I didn't sign up) NaNoWriMo dealie. I worked on the prologue yesterday after remembering it was November, and have 582 words now. Not a lot, but if I can maintain something close to that pace, it'll be more than 16000 words by month's end. I've just got to remember that it's less about editing what I've done, than just raw output. I can edit later. :)

Well, I might as well get some WoW in while the kids (around the world, that play) are asleep or getting ready to go to school. Have a good day, folks! :)
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Escher) - Hands)
I've been off for the last two days, and boy howdy, has it been pretty good.

You all know how my Sunday after work went, and I still am happy I did that. No regrets at all. :)

I woke up Monday morning, feeling pretty good, just a little achy, and that was gone before long. I cleaned up a little, but it was mainly picking up my room, though. I worked on my Warlock's Inscription, and farmed herbs for it with my Druid. During the day, Charles (and his girl) invited me to hang out with them at her place last night. So I hit 225 inscription (max level right now since she is 33), and left to go hang out.

Mapquest's directions kinda sucked, in that distances and directions were questionable (i.e., WRONG). Still, I found her place, which means that I'll never forget as long as I need to remember it. We went out for dinner, and since I really tied one on at the Flying Saucer on Sunday, I was chauffeur for Charles Monday. We went to Sekisui on Belvedere, and I suffered valiantly. (Honestly, I really am not a fan of seafood, ESPECIALLY when I'm hungry enough that my criteria for dinner was "cheap and lots of it".) I had the chicken teriyaki, and it wasn't bad. I got to show off my mad anime-inspired chopstick skills to eat rice! /flex

Afterward, we went back to her place, and hung out in the living room, listening to bellydancing music set to a techno beat while they smoked and drank wine, and I sipped a glass of wine. It was a white wine, with a nice aroma (is that what they call the "bouquet" ?), and a pleasant flavor, reminiscent of fruit like peaches, but it had a dry aftertaste, which wasn't altogether unpleasant. Finally, Charles went to bed, and we (his gf, her roommate, and a friend of hers that had stopped by) watched part of a comedy routine involving a Latin American who married some "hillbilly" from Kentucky. He was hilarious, though it was past 11pm when I left.

On the way home, I gave in to my hunger, and stopped by Kroger around the corner from my house to get some food. I picked up a box of some mini-tacos, sour cream, and shredded cheese. YUM! They hit the spot once I drizzled some Taco Bell sauce on 'em. (C'mon, you know you have a bunch of the packets stored in some random drawer in your kitchen....at least if you like Taco Bell, anyway. :) )

I crashed at 1am, feeling somewhat uneasy around my place for some reason. I figure it was in my head, but I did hear one cat meow and arch her back when she never meows, and that "damaged my calm", so that could have been responsible for the creepy sensation I had when I got into bed (I had to enact my "defensive barrier" -- i.e., my blanket over my head!). I fell asleep, and woke up around 7am, so I called Charles to make sure he got up for work, and then I settled into checking web sites and such, since Tuesday is WoW maintenance day.

I saw C briefly, but it was long enough to express my disappointment in something he did. Around 1030am, I left to head to the Dexter Kroger, because that was where I met my old friend Dee Dee for lunch. How old? Well, she's only a little older than I am, but we've known each other since the second grade. I played the priest at her wedding (they'd been to a justice of the peace.. I was just a stand in for the ceremony they did for the family later). We ran around with nearly 10 other people back in 1991-1992. It was great catching up with her, though now I like the idea of a reunion for as many of that group as we can safely manage. We were all great friends. My house was effectively the clubhouse, and they all called my dad "Mr. A."

I was struck by how grown up she seemed. I even commented on it to her, to which she replied, "I don't feel like a grown up yet." Haha.. I guess it sneaks up on us all.

It got me to thinking, and not in a self-destructive, negative way. First was the post I made several days ago where I said what I thought of myself. Now, I see that I have to change. Not for anyone but me, though. I don't quite know how to begin, but I could almost see a plan (5 year?) forming in front of me. What I wouldn't give for another moment of clarity like that. I *will* discover what it was. Something's nudging me that first, I gotta get to biking on a regular basis. So that'll be my first step. Next, I must establish a start date. Perhaps November 1? That's a Saturday, but it's a good clear starting point. (Should I actually grab my notes about the story I once wanted to write, and participate in NaNoWriMo? Even if it's just for me?

Anyway, after lunch, I came back and just wasted a couple of hours playing WoW. I got sleepier and sleepier, until I dozed off around 430pm, and slept in my chair until a little after 5pm. At that point, I decided that I was done with WoW for the night, made dinner, and fired up the last two weeks of "Chuck" and yesterday's "Heroes". I cannot get enough of those two shows (I missed "How I Met Your Mother", because my TiVo failed to record it for some reason. :( ).

Tomorrow, after work, I think I'm going to catch up on Supernatural (two episodes behind already, and Thursday will make three). Then, Charles has promised he's going to spend the evening in his own home, without his girlfriend around, so I suggested we play a board game or something instead of watching TV. Don't get me wrong. His girlfriend is pretty dang cool. She has printings of the Lord of the Rings from the early 70s (I should get a pic), and her personality puts you at ease. The two of them really get on well, and I'm happy to see that.

I don't know why, either, but lately I've been feeling more "big brotherly" towards Charles than in times past. Before, he'd listen to me, and give advice, and he was clearly the alpha. Now, though, I feel this shift in roles almost. Of course, I'm insane, so it's probably all in my head. :)

Now, to settle in for the night, and get more than six hours of sleep. Huzzah!
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Ciruelo) - Ship)

(NOTE: I do not drink like I detail in this post on anything remotely resembling a regular basis. It's a 2-4 times a year thing, usually less.)

I worked 6a-3p yesterday, as I usually do on Sundays, so that I could do Time & Attendance. It went pretty well, and I even avoided taking a lunch, so I got to leave at 2pm.

When I was getting ready to leave, I came to the conclusion that, since I am off Monday and Tuesday this week, I was going to get some beer, and cut loose a little. I grabbed a 12 pack of Yuengling Light Lager, and headed home.

Boy howdy, I wasn't kidding.

I got home, started on a beer, and talked to Charles about some things that have been bugging me. Before long, I was eating a hamburger I made (ultimately had about three over the course of the evening), and drinking beer 6. I was remarkably clear-headed, though, so I hopped on and played some WoW, healing for a bunch of Headless Horseman runs.

(WoW has holiday events that tie into real world holidays. Right now, "Hallow's End" is in-game, and the pinnacle of achievement right now is to confront the Headless Horseman [who's been terrorizing the towns of the world] and take him down.)

Anyway, after I had spent about an hour doing that, Charles came and asked if I wanted to go to the Flying Saucer with him and the girl he's currently dating. I hesitated, since I had not yet met her, but more so because there were supposed to be a lot of people there. A short while after I declined, I learned that it was just gonna be C, his new girl, and one of her friends. Figuring I couldn't ask for better odds than that, I agreed to go.

The Flying Saucer (www.beerknurd.com) is great. I don't think I've ever really been to a place whose sole purpose was to cater to adults. Not like that. Their list of beers was mammoth, and they had food that goes with beer, too (pretzels! brats!). It was fun. I started with a Hoegaarden (which, to my everlasting horror, was brought out in a brandy glass!), and then grabbed a Paulaner Oktoberfest. This was a nice beer with a rich flavor reminiscent of spices and something else.

While I was working through that, Charles suggested that we both do a Jager Bomb. Seemed like an innocent enough suggestion. Holy crap! Not only was it crazy, it was fun AND tasted good. Thankfully, he didn't suggest another one.

He stopped drinking at that point, but I was clearly hitting my stride. Talk around the table got on the subject of vodka, and I commented that I loved vodka. She suggested that we do a shot. So, we did. I've gotten good at shooting alcohol, apparently. :-p

We headed home, and I picked up on the twelve pack where I left off, and we all sat around and talked a bunch, until finally it was bedtime. I played a LITTLE more WoW after that, but finally crashed out around 1am, after making a point to drink some water.

I woke up twice overnight, and got more water each time. As it is, I just mildly ache in a few joints, but no headache and no light sensitivity. Huzzah for water! :)

I *really* needed that. I've not really relaxed and cut loose like that in a long time. I won't say that alcohol was why I had fun, but it definitely made me more receptive to just enjoying myself, and not worrying about what folks thought of me.

I am thinking about joining The Flying Saucer's club, and sampling different beers occasionally. Once I try 200, I get my name on the wall. :) It'll take a while, though.

Now, I'm going to play some WoW, do some laundry, and -- maybe later -- mow the front yard (that might be tomorrow, though).
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Anry) - Hall)
On Tuesday, Blizzard introduced the next major content patch for World of Warcraft. This patch bridges the gap between the current expansion (Burning Crusade) and the next one (Wrath of the Lich King, due out 11/13/08). We have updated talent trees, spells work differently, and some gear is different. Over all, this patch is great.

However, while I was willing (and had) to overlook a lack of addons on patch day, I realized I had to have my all-in-one inventory mod (ArkInventory). Virtual bags grouping like items together, one frame, customizable rules, etc. It is great. I gave up hoping for a live update, and installed the version they released for use on the Beta. Happily, it worked. :)

I noticed another problem last night, though when I finally got off my druid long enough to log onto my blood elf paladin. Both of my blood elf female toons (paladin and warlock) are a solid neon green (with shading) from the neck down. Before you ask, no, it's not all covered up. I was amazed at how much green I saw, and rather disappointed. I removed all the old mod preferences, and tried that. I tried removing all mod preferences (but not my major settings), and tried that. I then tried a repair, only to have my launcher crash when it loaded and found an update. I *really* didn't want to have to redo my game settings from scratch, but that's what I wound up doing.

I've spent the last hour and a half or so, reinstalling WoW from scratch. It JUST finished installing, so now I have the dubious joy of patching from 2.0 to 3.0.2. (Folks, that's GIGs of content.) I backed up my old preferences folder and addon directory, but it's still going to be a lot of work. I think I'm going to go back to sleep while it patches.

After all, I work 6p-3a tonight.

UPDATE: I was gonna just play on the Beta today while downloading the live patch again. However, the Beta is crashing on me now, too. This really sucks. :(

UPDATE 2: Thankfully, Scott had the patches on his computer, and a little network sharing later, I was up and running again. It's a shame that I have so little time now to goof off in-game before work, but at least it's running and happy again.
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Whelan) - Gunslinger)
I've just not had it in me recently to do a blog post. Work's been wearing me down, and my social (ha!) life has been rather strained lately with my roommate and his girlfriend breaking up, since they were the primary folks I hung out with.

I've been playing a bit more WoW, but not enough to get lost in it again. I moved over to my friend's boyfriend's guild, and have been enjoying the environment there a lot. Lots of fun is being had. We're interacting and having a good time, and I think it's showing. That said, I've still got two of my 70s in my old guild, but I've only really been logging in on my druid since I moved.

I finished reading Starship Troopers, and I think that's one of my favorite books ever. I'm horrified at what Verhoeven did to the movie. Compared to the book, the movie is a retarded little brother. This goes beyond the whole "book > movie" thing.

Oh well. I work 6a-3p today, and then I don't work again until Wednesday at 6p. (That's 51 hours straight off.) I've been getting at least one night shift like that a week lately. I don't quite mind it, aside from the obvious "it's completely opposite of what I usually work so it kills my sleep pattern when I work it".

Speaking of which, I gotta get ready. Later, folks.
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Whelan) - Gunslinger)
I know. I know. It looks like I really DID vanish when I got into the Wrath of the Lich King Beta. Unfortunately, such was not the case. The day I got the invitation, I was scheduled to work late (as in 6pm-3am), so I should have gotten back in bed. However, I wasn't sleepy (not just because of the beta -- I'm used to getting up early), so I sat up a while, hoping to get sleepy. I finally fell asleep, for about two hours. When I got up and got ready for work again, I felt kinda icky. My sinuses were beginning to feel that "not so good" feeling that usually signals the onset of a sinus infection.

When I got home, I would have felt better if I had gone to bed. Instead, though, I ignored the crappy feeling in my sinuses, and tooled around a bit on the beta. I didn't play long, since the server went down, but I was up long enough (it was my "day off" -- like being off from 3am one day till 10am the next really amounts to much) that I tried to minimize my sleep, for fear I wouldn't sleep well that night. I should have slept, since I got involved with something with the roommates, like usual, and went to bed around midnight (I figured midnight to 8am, with two hours to dress and get to work, should be good).

I felt worse when I got up, but I wasn't convinced until I was already dressed, so I went in anyway. Thankfully, my boss took pity on me, whether it was intentional or not, and kept me in Guest Care the whole day (someone else working all day had called in, so I kinda wonder if she wasn't just relieved I'd come in, despite being sick). I got to feeling better-ish on Sunday, but who was in town but my good buddy Rick.

Apparently, the house in Fayette County he was supposed to be getting fell through, and he moved back to New York. This time, though, the man did something smart, and took an hourly job working carpet for an apartment complex. Steady income, a discount on rent, and he's in a nice area? I'm THRILLED for him. :)

Even if he's far away again, and can't play D&D with us. :(
I left work early, and I hung out with him all day, though my mood started going south and I started feeling really bad. I wanted to try to do a spontaneous D&D game for Rick, since he never gets to play, and we ALWAYS do one when he's in town. I even got started, but I was so worn out and bad feeling (I literally was dozing off at the table, with everyone waiting on what I was to say next), that we scrapped it before we even got to a combat encounter.

The next day (Monday), I took him around to a couple of places -- to get pictures of family and his suitcase (he'd stayed with us that night) -- and when we came back, I laid down, feeling like I'd been hit with a truck. I almost backed out of giving him a ride to the airport, but [livejournal.com profile] strieson went with me. When I returned, I slept HARD, for about two hours. When I woke, I felt better, and, like an idiot, starting doing normal things again.

The rest of the week wasn't much better. I worked unusual shifts, and my sleep pattern wasn’t much of a pattern. As a result, I got a lot sicker, and I felt it completely. What was worst was that I actually thought about going to the doctor, but I couldn’t determine a good day to go, since I wasn’t off until Saturday. So, I took medicine, and tried to rest when I could. I barely touched WoW, and mainly watched Supernatural seasons 1 and 2 with my roommates. (Got ‘em hooked, hehehe..)

I have spent more time in bed since Saturday, and feel a lot better for it, though I know I’m not out of the woods yet. I am getting sleep, drinking plenty of juice and water, and taking it easy. I am trying to peek in on the beta a little, since they announced the release date today.

I like Death Knight, and will be rolling one when they go live. I also dislike the paladin changes, and will probably be retiring mine. I imagine that I will level my druid, my warrior, and a death knight.

For now, I gotta hit the hay. G’night, folks.
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Whelan) - Cthulhu's Eye)
I was accepted into the Wrath of the Lich King beta!!!! Woot!!!! Of course, I don't know yet if it's a "good" invite to the closed beta, or if it's a general invite to an open beta, but still, I am in the beta! :)

You know where to find me for a while. :)

Worry not, for I will supply screenshots, should folks be interested. :)
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Unk.) - Columns)
I worked this weekend. I worked early every day, so there were no weird rearrangements of sleeping to deal with. In fact, I think I was mostly caught up on sleep when I went back to work on Friday. I had Wednesday and Thursday off, and I slept a great deal, though not most, of the time.

The downside is that napping in the afternoon apparently has a very real effect on my ability to get to sleep before 11pm or so, even if it's just an hour or so in the afternoon. I spent about an hour on Thursday night, tossing, turning, fluffing pillows, changing music, and trying to relax and settle down enough to fall asleep. This might change as I start going to bed at 10pm (well, brushing my teeth and getting in bed, anyway).

So, I'm off today. It's nice, even if I was off less than a week ago. I think what I like most is the fact that BOTH of my roommates went to work today, so I have the place to myself. I'm not really sure what I want to do today. While I did enjoy a little WoW last night, I don't want to spend all day on it anymore. I need to do laundry and hang up my clean clothes, and the kitchen could use some TLC, but I'm just not feeling it yet. I did finally get to watch some Supernatural on my TiVo, which my roommate helped FINALLY get set up correctly the other day. It appears that 1) the whole second satellite thing was easily remedied with another coax, when I was lead to believe there would be drilling and installing and stuff involved, and 2) my TiVo not dialing out was because of the "*70" being in the dialing preferences (we nuked all but the most basic landlines back in May, and as some folks can tell you, *70 doesn't work quite right if you don't have call waiting).

Saturday evening, I cleaned out my home desk and got things all nice and neat. Then, I watched "A Very Supernatural Christmas", which was my first episode of Supernatural that I've seen since dear [livejournal.com profile] andric was spirited away to locales out west, back in February. (I know this is very unchronological, but it flows story-wise, dang it!)

Anyway, the point is that I watched "Long Distance Call" this morning while having Ghetto Italian™ for breakfast. What is Ghetto Italian™, you ask? Simple:

1 lb of sausage (I like to get the kind from the butcher's counter, rather than in the sealed tubes)
1.5-2.5 cups rice (I use instant, because I don't know how to cook "real" rice)
1.5-2.5 cups water (for use in the instant rice)
1/3 cup Parmesan cheese (again, I use grated, though I suppose grating it fresh would work too)
1/2 teaspoon each of Thyme, Oregano, and Garlic Powder*
1 teaspoon each of Rosemary and Basil*
S&P to taste

* -- If you're feeling REALLY Ghetto :), sub out these herbs for the "Italian Medley" Mrs. Dash.

Brown the sausage, crushing it up like you brown ground beef for Hamburger Helper. Meanwhile, boil the water, add rice, cover and set aside (for 5 minutes). With a mortar and pestle, crush the four herbs and garlic together. When the sausage is browned thoroughly, sprinkle the herbs over the sausage and put on low heat (to keep it warm -- it SHOULD be done already). Check the rice, and when it's done, pour the sausage into the rice pan. Add the Parmesan cheese, and stir until well mixed.

I love this, and it's probably highly unconventional, but it's fun, tastes good, and is satisfying. I should point out that this morning, I experimented with some crushed red pepper and onion powder as well, and it wasn't bad, but I added it directly to the meat, rather than the mortar and pestle, so I may have UNDERDONE it, to keep from ruining the mix.

I've never really tried this with any meat other than sausage, though Italian sausage might be an interesting attempt.

Now, to get to those chores.. Catch ya later!
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Art (Unk.) - Columns)
Nothing major to talk about. I just finally got back on Moonrunner and, more specifically, on my level 70s. The Relief Beef (my guild) has gone through a few changes, and are now attempting 25 man content. They have forums and are using Ventrilo instead of TeamSpeak (yay!).

I got to test my paladin's healing ability tonight in Heroic Auchenai Crypts. Dang, it was tough, but with the shaman's Wrath of Air totem, I broke 2k bonus healing, and we managed just fine.

Now, I'm going to go to sleep and, hopefully, I will be able to mow the front yard tomorrow, though I'm not going to hold my breath. (It's supposed to rain most of the day.)

Oh! Before I forget! I broke down today, and had Charles use his clippers (with the 1" attachment) to cut my hair. It's short now, but not crew cut short. It's short enough now, I'd say, that if I'm easy on the hair products, I can sleep on it, and style it when I wake up (not usually possible).

Well, that's about it for me for tonight. Can't really think of more.
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Sky - Mars)
First, R.I.P. Bernie Mac AND Isaac Hayes. :(

Work was okay today. I went in, got started doing payroll. I snuck my iPod upstairs, and listened to it to help keep me from zoning out first thing in the morning. When the co-manager got there, he sent me to Starbucks for coffee and McDonald's for breakfast for him and me.* Yum! :) (Heck, it was free even. He paid for it, since I went to get it.) I finished payroll completely around 1030am, and had to go downstairs to help out.
That was when all hell broke loose. We had 3 lunches due at 10am (mine and two others), another due at 11am, and yet ANOTHER due at 1130am. Suffice to say, I volunteered to skip my lunch, to get things kinda back on track. Then, my CSM -- who is on vacation! -- called, and didn't like what she heard about how things were going, and was all fired up to come up there to make sure things are going the way she wants them, and said that no one was skipping their lunch. (Control freak much?) She also took issue with the fact that I was on UScan while the UScan clerk was on a register. Given that the two of us were working the exact same shift, and the UScan clerk WANTED to be on a register, I don't see what the problem was. (Control freak again?)

At any rate, the co-manager apparently talked to her, and she quit calling. Heh, he even told me not to answer the phone if she called. "She's on vacation," he said by way of explanation -- which DOES say it all.

I didn't get to leave until 230pm anyway, despite technically being due to leave at 200pm because of no lunch. The Guest Care clerk (the 1130am lunch) didn't get to go to lunch till 115pm (yes, we were THAT behind), and he fell asleep while he was on lunch. No worries, though. I came home, had some chili dogs (using Hebrew National hot dogs -- yum!), and chilled a bit on WoW, playing my Draenei Shaman on The Scryers.

Non-sequitor regarding my current guild/server in WoW )

Anyway, Charles and his girlfriend came home. We talked a bit, and they invited me to see a movie either at the theater or on PPV, but I decided to pass. Instead, I took a nice two hour nap. When I woke up, they were having breakfast for dinner, and shared with me. Then, we watched Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. (Seems they went with the PPV route! :))

That movie was hilarious, and it had a deeper meaning, if you can believe it. It played on a lot of racial stereotypes, but showed them from both sides, and really made you think about it. That said, its ending was what I expected from a Harold & Kumar movie. I need to pick this one up on DVD. It is worth it. ;)

Now, I must sleep, for I have work in the morning, and I'm meeting [livejournal.com profile] dragonpurr for lunch afterward. Then, I'm coming home and cleaning my room from front to back and side to side. It's not TOTALLY trashed, but I'm dissatisfied with the condition it is in, and I am going to see about correcting it.

Oh, and with the low being only 62 tonight, I'm SOOO sleeping with my window open. Huzzah! :)

* - I'm not sure if that's proper grammar, and it bugs me. However, it's technically accurate, so it stays for now.

P.S. I'm going with Charles and [livejournal.com profile] strieson this weekend to Corinth, where I'm gonna learn what makes hunting so fun. We're not actually hunting anything, but I'm going to learn to use a gun, I'm gonna ride a 4-wheeler, and I'm gonna spend the night away from my computer (I'm even leaving my phone at home!). I can't wait. It sounds like it will be a lot of fun. I can't wait to see the night sky out there. Might have to take a notebook, just in case I find myself creatively inspired.

P.P.S. Charles sent me the Match.com profile of someone his roommate knows. I confess I'm intrigued.
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