tek2way: Art - Handful of Stars (Art - Handful of Stars)
Last night, I watched "Mirror, Mirror", the 2012 movie about Snow White that starred Julia Roberts. During the ending credits, I was immediately taken by the song "I Believe in Love", sung by Snow White's actress, Lily Collins.

I hopped on iTunes, downloaded it to my iPhone, and began to loop it. For nearly an hour, from around 3-430 or so, I danced willy-nilly around my apartment. I am grateful for the ground floor unit for that reason. I felt almost trance-like when I was singing along with the chorus in my head: "I believe, I believe, I believe..." Twelve times before it said "in love". Listening to that song, fresh from watching the movie with an actress whose costuming and appearance are so closely connected to what I want to find in a soulmate, I almost felt like I was chanting an affirmation to Freyja that I had not given up on finding that love.

This feeling was so strong, that I actually lit my candles and turned off my artificial lights, and continued to dance, flail, spin, lip sync, sway, and step in time to the song. I looped it so many times, I literally lost count. I had poured an offering of Innis & Gunn beer as an offering to Heimdall, to watch over the mother of a friend. Partway through the dancing, I got the mental nudge/urge to share my Angry Orchard Elderflower Cider with Freyja. Grabbing a margarita goblet, I filled it up and placed it on my Freyja altar. I then gave myself up completely to the music and moment for almost an hour.

I finally began to wind down, and snuffed the candles on my Freyja altar (in my living room), and retreated to my bedroom, where my main altar was still lit. After a few more repetitions, I snuffed those candles and went to sleep.

I had no moments of startling clarity or insight. I just felt like I was supposed to be up and dancing/moving, and I felt like I was supposed to share the cider with Her. Does that make my experience less sincere or valid? Was I assuming it was Freyja, when it might have been some other deity? I often get hung up on questions like this. I have a problem with worrying that my path is "proper" or "valid" or even "real".

After talking to Kendra last week, I feel much better about my path not being quite a perfect fit for the name I use for it: Asatru/Heathen. Yet, when I have these moments that don't seem to appear in any kind of documented lore, I worry that I'm "doing it wrong."

If I am not "doing it wrong" (and I honestly am willing to accept that I'm not, even as I have to adjust my mind to that belief), then what did last night mean? It was such a surreal experience. I went to bed physically worn out and content mentally, yet I never really got the sensation that I truly grasped what it was I was supposed to. I felt some kind of close connection, but my own self-doubt and fears and skepticism kept me from identifying it more closely.

Thanks for reading. I am trying something new with this post: I'm posting it to Facebook under my "Pagan Friendly" filter, so those who know me there can view it too, if they wish. I'm not fishing for answers. I just feel that I should be sharing this, and I hate Facebook notes.
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Sky - Storm)
I worked 10a-7p today. I felt that today was very fulfilling. I busted ass, and I felt like I made progress in making sure people realized that it's my front end, not theirs. Without even being a jerk about it, I made sure my accounting clerk took care of business, and kept everyone on-task. It was almost fun.

Of course, I also posted a clearly-leaning-paranoid post on my Facebook, about the Boston lockdown. I was troubled by what I saw in the post. My friends have been very vocal in their condemnation of the post. I am on the fence with it. I see the points it's trying to make, but I also know that it was going overboard with how it interpreted the actions of those involved. It isn't going to make me lose sleep, either. But I digress..

I got off work, and came home while listening to my Pandora "Cyberpunk Radio" station. Getting home, I was struck by the urge to sweep my porch and patio. I am currently sitting outside, typing this post up on my laptop as it's sitting on my patio table. While it's a little chilly, I am really enjoying the feeling of being outside. Another piece of my world, reorganized and rearranged.

The smell of cooking food on the air is absolutely distracting. It smells vaguely of barbecue, and my stomach rumbles to contemplate such a delightful meal. However, I am forced to wait on chicken to thaw, in order to make some chicken rotini alfredo. I may throw some fish sticks in the oven, and make the rotini tomorrow morning. I am hungry now.

All in all, though, today has been a very good day, and I'm ending it in high spirits. The only thing unusual for me is that I have no desire to watch my DVR'd Doctor Who, Orphan Black, Game of Thrones, or Vikings. I also have no motivation to hop on WoW tonight. I may watch a movie, perhaps, I may work on another blog post, or I may settle down to read more of The Gathering Storm.
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Default)

I have been reminded lately of the days when I was at Snowden, and opted to walk six miles home, rather than pay for a bus, so I could buy new music. I am going to list what music I can remember now.

Helloween - Keeper of the Seven Keys, Part 1
Helloween - Keeper of the Seven Keys, Part 2
Iron Maiden - Piece of Mind
Iron Maiden - Powerslave
Iron Maiden - Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
Queensrÿche - Operation: Mindcrime
Queensrÿche - Empire
Fifth Angel - Fifth Angel
Fifth Angel - Time Will Tell
Crimson Glory - Transcendence
Dio - Holy Diver
Dio - The Last in Line
Dio - Dream Evil
Metallica - Master of Puppets
Metallica - …And Justice for All
Metallica - Metallica
Megadeth - So Far, So Good… So What!
Megadeth - Rust in Peace
Anthrax - Persistence of Time
Annihilator - Alice in Hell
Annihilator - Never, Neverland
Danzig - Danzig
Slayer - South of Heaven
Slayer - Seasons in the Abyss
Judas Priest - Painkiller

And now, books:
Dragonlance (Chronicles, Legends, Tales, Preludes, and Heroes Trilogies)
Forgotten Realms (Avatar Trilogy)
The Dark Beyond the Stars, by Frank Robinson
The Shield of Time, by Poul Anderson
The Eye of the World, by Robert Jordan
Spellbound, by Ru Emerson
In Conquest Born, by C.S. Friedman
Redemption of Light, by Kathleen M. O'Neal
Dragon Prince, by Melanie Rawn
D'Shai, by Joel Rosenberg
The Sixth Book of Lost Swords: Mindsword's Story, by Fred Saberhagen
The Heavenly Horse from the Outermost West, by Mary Stanton

Time, I'm sure, has obscured the absolute veracity of some of these selections, but these all remind me of a slightly foggy, slightly rainy, slightly chilly afternoon spent waking home from school. The miles and weather mattered little, for only my body was on earth. My mind was worlds away, carried there by the soundtrack of my youth.

…I still miss it, hope to one day find m way back there again.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Music - Seventh Son of a Seventh Son)
Recently, I purchased the "Re-Armed" (that is, remastered) editions of Sabaton's first albums, and discovered that while their music is almost exclusively about real life war (with a focus on WWII -- absolutely KILLER stuff too!), each album usually has one track that is a tribute to metal in some way ("Metal Ripper", "Metal Machine", "Metal Crüe").

That got me to thinking. I know that Dream Evil had a couple of tracks that were in the same thematic vein as Sabaton's stuff. How many songs did I have in my iTunes library that would have "Metal Glorification" (my own words) as a theme? I tried using iTunes's built in search feature, but it returned EVERY song in the Metal genre, which made me grumpy. Then, I realized I could do a Windows search in the iTunes library folder.

I found 24 tracks that at least have "metal" in their names, and having heard most of them, I know that most fit what I was looking for. So, without further ado, I present my newest playlist:

\m/ Metal Glorification \m/ )

Now, I'm gonna try to be productive. This took way too long to do. *sideeyesTwitter*
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tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Default)

July 2017


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