tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Default)

Yesterday, I woke in a funky mood. When I went to bed Saturday night, I'd dosed myself with a round of self-pity and no-one-likes-me, with a little I'm-not-good-enough for good measure, and it carried through till I woke. Frankly, I shouldn't be surprised. That was a classic Anthony pity-party.

I woke to a text from my girl, telling telling me good morning (something we do almost every day). However, I'd sent her an email the night before, telling her about some problems I was having trouble working through, so after the good mornings were exchanged, it got serious. We texted for about 30 minutes, at which time it was decided that I should get up, dress for work, and head over, so we could talk face-to-face. I'm glad I did.

In hindsight, talking about what was bugging me is just what I needed, and she did beautifully in listening to me, being patient with me, and giving me the love and support I needed. She really is something special. :)

After that, I went to work, where I learned we have two new U-Scan robots. I'd remembered [livejournal.com profile] marius_98 saying something briefly about it last week, before I shut down all talk of Kroger because I was on vacation. It actually worked out rather well, because we now were allowed another attendant down there. Also, the layout of the new U-Scan is a lot more friendly to the attendant standing in the middle to assist customers.

At any rate, I started my shift down there, and spent most of the first part of the day in a register. This worked out, because I needed the mindless work to get back in the swing of things. Ironically, I felt more... "with it" as far as making decisions and being okay with being the go-to second person on the front (since I last posted in January, the management and the CSM have changed, and I'm now the backup CSM). I must investigate this further...

I went to lunch at the cottage with [livejournal.com profile] marius_98 and [livejournal.com profile] una_con_laluna, enjoying the last little bit of Gremlins while I had my double quarter pounder with cheese. Being in that atmosphere, I was very relaxed and felt very safe and loved, and it helped center me and let me refocus for the second half of my shift.

The second half went smoothly. Even though it was the end of the month, as you'd expect on Hallowe'en, the only traffic we had was from folks buying candy. One guy even said he ne'er ate sugar, so the last kid of the night was going to get the rest of what he had in the bowl. OMG, I would've thought I'd hit the motherlode if that happened to me. #fatkid, indeed. :)

Coming home, I cleaned out the Jeep (which I'd been driving while my car was out of commission), because I figured Charles would be driving it this morning. I cleaned the kitchen, made dinner, and tooled around on WoW for a little bit. When they say things have changed, they're not kidding. I spent the whole time figuring out what I was looking at. It was kinda fun, exciting, AND frustrating all at once. :)

I crashed out around 2-230, and slept till I woke up at 630 this morning, when I decided that I should stay up so that I can get my car fixed. I will sleep a lot better knowing my car is driveable again.

So that's my Hallowe'en, or Samhain to some of my friends. Heh, or "Sunday" to still others. :) I'm gonna finish my coffee (Ugly Mug's Good Vibes, with some Carnation French Vanilla creamer and sugar), and see about conquering my car. See everyone later!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Me - South Park Me)
I am posting again, because I told [livejournal.com profile] tannenwynn I would, though I don't have the heart for much.

The biggest news is that my vacation is over. I work Sunday from 2p-11p. I would have liked to have had at least tomorrow off, but hey, them's the breaks.

Secondly, while the part for my car to get it running right again should be an easy fix, Charles and I spent two hours outside trying to pull it out. I cut my hands up, got ridiculously filthy, and didn't even get the part out, so my car is still undriveable. This has seriously impacted my good mood. Enough so that I voiced a concern with someone in E-mail, when I might normally have said nothing. I can only hope that things turn out like they're supposed to.

In other news, though, I reactivated my WoW account. I don't really want to run endgame, and I don't want to spend all my time playing, but the story changes coming up in the expansion, Cataclysm, are too intriguing for me to ignore. Because of all the changes that have been applies in patch 4.0.1, it already feels like a new game, which is interesting in itself.

Now, I'm going to sleep. Perhaps tomorrow will bring me some peace, at least until I have to go in to work.
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Me - In Real Life 2010)
It has been nearly 10 months since I last used my LJ for anything other than seeing the daily LOLcats (and that's because a lot of you don't post on here anymore, either!). I've migrated pretty fully to Facebook and Twitter. Twitter's more fun, perhaps because I have to figure out what I want to say in 140 characters or less. At this point, Facebook just copies what I tweet.

At any rate, I found a link on Facebook to LJ, and wound up browsing through various user info pages, adding folks. If I just added you, then you should at least be familiar with me. The new default user pic -- which I use on Facebook, Twitter, and the Summerland Grove site -- is recent enough that you should be able to match it to me. I know a lot of you from SG anyway.

The past almost-10 months have been.. different. I courted Christianity again, dated a devout Christian (the former admittedly DID halfway occur due to the latter), wound up giving up my D&D game on Sundays forever (I never have Sunday afternoons off anymore), met a great group of people in what I am apt to call the core membership of Summerland Grove, began smoking pipes for fun, became a pagan in name (I suspect I've always been one in spirit, whether I knew it or not), decided on a spiritual path (Asatru), began dating a wonderful woman, and have grown to despise my job at Kroger so much that I almost went to a job fair (my resume was... well, completely unmade and not gonna be ready in time, plus I got called on to help my girlfriend, which I had no hesitation doing).

Of course, outing myself on my LJ as a pagan could be considered... unwise? foolhardy? I dunno. Anyone with half a brain who has watched my Twitter feed/Facebook posts will have picked up on it long ago, though I deliberately don't come right out and say it, because I live in Memphis, TN, where you're accepted for who you are...

...that is, if you're a monogamous heterosexual Conservative Christian who is intolerant of others' lifestyles and points of view. (I still classify as heterosexual, though that's the only part of that statement that still applies to me.) I have far too many Christian friends on Facebook who I suspect will try to help me "see the error of my ways", so I am mum on the subject there, but I realize I don't give a flying fuck outside of being harassed about it on Facebook. I keep quiet at work as well, just because things already are a cluster fuck there, without adding "OMG IT'S A PAGAN!!!11" to the list. I've not dedicated to a specific god, which admittedly bothers me quite a bit (to the point that I can get downright moody/depressed about it), but I'm reading everything I can get my hands on that I think will help me understand my choice of path more clearly. (I'm currently reading "Our Troth, Vol. 1", and Tyr *STILL* looks like a reasonable choice, though he no longer feels like a perfect fit.)

About two weeks ago, I went to Festival of Souls. I'd never been, and even though I had to work two days and missed the workshops, I had a lot of fun. I made a point to attend the rituals, and was.. well, "blown away" is appropriate, if a little cliched. My brother, Ricky ([livejournal.com profile] titus_the_mage, though he's never used it), went as well, and surprised me. He'd always referred to himself as an agnostic, or as he put it, a "chicken shit atheist", but apparently *REALLY* took to the pagan point of view. I'm still processing that he has come to that realization, though I'm glad to have a longtime close personal friend with me in this new life.

While I enjoyed every ritual, I was absolutely thunderstruck by the candlelight labyrinth held after the ancestor ritual on Friday night. The solemnity covering the field, where the candles were laid out in concentric circles that slowly led to the center, was absolute. I didn't hear any voices (consciously), nor did I have any brilliant immediately-life-changing flashes of inspiration (again, consciously), but when I had gotten out of it, I felt different. Two weeks later, I wish I had the labyrinth still up to walk again, like I have a new appreciation for it, and if I could just walk it again, even more would become clear to me.

On the D&D/RPG front, I eventually had to drop [livejournal.com profile] lordreaibn's 4e D&D game, because work began jumping around on Sundays for me (I don't get to do payroll like I used to, though no hard feelings for the new clerk). I briefly attempted to get a game going involving [livejournal.com profile] nyminal, [livejournal.com profile] strieson, [livejournal.com profile] mfsfreak, and [livejournal.com profile] disker and his wife, but that fell through due to lack of motivation on my part. I just no longer "feel it" where D&D is concerned. I am far more likely to wax nostalgic over my old 2e games, and how engrossing they were back then. Perhaps, when my schedule settles down some, or I change jobs, I can start a game again with some folks, perhaps even including [livejournal.com profile] lordreaibn, [livejournal.com profile] tannenwynn, [livejournal.com profile] marius_98, or [livejournal.com profile] lostgamers. I have access to a larger pool of folks, and if I mix and match 'em a bit so I'm not stuck with the same collection of people I have played with for the last ten years, things might get interesting. (I have *NO* problem with my old D&D group, but the reality is that lack of fresh blood caused things to get stale, and we all know it.)

Well, that's my life this year so far. It's an oversimplification, and you'll notice I didn't post about work. I'm on vacation for at least two more days, so I refuse to acknowledge it until then. :) Welcome to all the new people. I hope that you add me back. I want to get to know each of you better than I have so far.

Oh yeah, I also, at the urging of my girlfriend, am going to begin writing again daily, even if it's just in here. I am one of the worst procrastinators you'll ever meet, but I want this. I miss writing something down, reading it, and going "holy crap, this is GOOD."

P.S. Holy crap. I've had this account for over 8 years now. I feel damned old suddenly. :)
tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Anime - Chibi Kenshin)
One thing that I've always wondered about is how I can seemingly turn off my attraction to someone. I wonder if it's a stress-induced reaction to my constant worry over the what ifs I was talking about last night. I only bring this up because I found myself not as enthusiastic about the whole thing as I have been (yet, while I was fixing my car's door handle today, the thought that was going through my head was "my car's one step closer to being a decent car to drive a date around in"). What if I took a day to NOT think about her at all, or limit it as much as possible? I just have a feeling that this is some sort of "distancing/protection" mechanic that my brain cooks up to make it easier to not be attached to someone, and not feel hurt if/when I don't wind up dating the person.

Well, enough of that for the night. Time for bed.

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