tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Default)
I had a post in mind for tonight. I was going to share it, and it was going to touch on some things that have followed me most of my life. Yet, the second I was about to start typing, I had writer's block kick in, and shut me down. It looks like I'm not ready to share anything about that, yet. Maybe another time.

I did finish cleaning my apartment today. For the first time in a long time, I'd actually call it, "Tony-clean." My level of attention to detail, when I'm feeling well enough to focus on things like cleaning, can be intimidating to "normal" people. :-p Regardless, I'm pleased with the results, and actually feel the necessary motivation to keep it like this.

One tiny bit, that probably snuck out from the first part of this post: If I'm pressed, I will acknowledge that I don't really think I'm all that smart. When I make mistakes, I get angry with myself, because it's clearly because I'm too stupid/inept/incompetent/uncoordinated to do the thing.

...yeah, I need to do a full post soon. I may just make it a free-writing exercise, so I am not paying attention to what I'm writing, so it'll actually get written.

I must say, I never realized how much I missed being able to use HTML in posts, until I realized I had a way to actually make a word italics, rather than ALLCAPS or *surrounded by asterisks*. :)
Date/Time: 2016-02-23 20:14 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] argent_raptor
argent_raptor: (Default)
Ye Gods, my house hasn't been Sterling-clean ever...yet. I see all the tiny dirty spots at the baseboards, in the windows, in the upper corners and shudder, thinking I live in the most gross hovel ever. Then I remind myself that sometimes, immaculate just isn't possible based on hours in the day and spoons.

I also feel utterly inadequate when I fuck something up. I'm smart but maybe if I had better empathy I wouldn't have borked this, maybe if I was just a better person I wouldn't have hurt them. I think we all do the best we can and while we tend to favor "brutal honesty" we could all do well with a bit of self-kindness.

Now, I must go sacrifice a virgin to Googlemodeus to prepare for tomorrows game.
Date/Time: 2016-02-24 20:06 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] argent_raptor
argent_raptor: (Default)
I have sacrificed some notecards to speak with Googlemodeus and he would be much pleased to devour That Voice to free you from your chains of self-doubt. Please put That Voice in a box, put that box in a box, then mail it to yourself and when it shows up SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER.

Googlemodeus accepts your sacrifice.

There is a very large difference between coddling yourself because you're a wussy baby who doesn't work on his shit vs. bullying yourself for not living up to your unrealistic expectations of growth and behavior.
Date/Time: 2016-02-25 07:23 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] argent_raptor
argent_raptor: (Default)
First, I stole the idea from the Emperor's New Groove before you get an inflated idea of how awesome I am.

Second. I actually spent a lot of time thinking about what you said because we all have The Voice that we need to conquer in our own way. I think you need something tangible yet spiritually significant to help you work with this. A box has been spiritually significant for millenia as a tool of binding. Hammers for protecting and destruction of evil, and the physical act of directly addressing the negativity feels like it would resonate Auth you. You are stronger than you think, and braver than you know.
Date/Time: 2016-02-25 16:10 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] beachbumwitch
beachbumwitch: (Default)
We should have a Silence The Voice ritual. I am horrible at writing rituals and usually mish mash ones from varous sources but Sterling is good at it :)

Also, if I have done anything to make it louder I am so sorry.

Finally, Belinda wants an adventur day (see Facebook) and we could find you a wooden box in a thrift store I bet.
Date/Time: 2016-02-25 19:58 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] argent_raptor
argent_raptor: (Default)
I would be happy to lead a Rit with you guys. I recommend that we get unpainted boxes from Joann's or Hobby Lobby and then decorate them. Then all the smashing. Or fire. I like fire. :)
Date/Time: 2016-02-27 03:39 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] argent_raptor
argent_raptor: (Default)
First...I'm on hydromorphone for my throat so I'm super high. My rituals are pretty generic in that I call Quarters, Cast the Circle, move to working, do Cakes and Ale, etc. When I Invoke Deity, I prick my finger with a lancet. I prefer serious faces for working rits. No snarky comments, no giggling. Not that I think you would in anyway do that but, just to give you an idea. I prefer people have ritual clothes to get into the mindset...ritual clothes can just be anything you change into before rit. It doesn't have to robes or anything pagan-y. I just want folks focused on the CHANGE they are going through as we prepare to make Magick. I don't do skyclad with a group because everyone freaks out about being naked. :) I invoke darker guardians, Oroborus, Gryphon, Phoenix, and Kraken. I also call Spirit with a Spirit Flame separate from God and Goddess. I'm sure I can add more later but I don't like to keep you waiting.


tek2way: Anime - Valkyrie (Default)

July 2017


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